Theophany: It's Not Just For Burning Bushes Anymore

  Recently, I have became agitated by the over use of the phrase " It was a sign from God." I've noticed that God seems to be dropping more hints now, than what was argumentatively discussed before and during biblical times. I am no scholar on this shit, but I read and over time, I accumulate these little leather notebooks full of notes on things of interest to me. 
  Firstly, if you are going to receive a sign from God or direct communication, it's imperative that you understand how God communicates. Thus far, I have noted the following references of God communication from various theological sources:

•  Audible Voice-- Genesis tells us that God spoke to man audibly and in a way man could understand.  Assuming this true, God would have to know about 6800 to 6900 distinct languages that are spoken through out the world. If you are deaf, you had better hope God can send a representative that knows how to sign.  

• Handwriting-- There is a distinct reference to a gigantic God hand appearing and writing messages upon a wall  in Daniel 5:5. The grilled cheese Jesus and Mary have competition.  I think if I witnessed a huge hand coming out of the sky, I'd most likely be wondering where it's been. What if the hand smelled like cheese?

• Dreams-- Apparently God figured out a way to infiltrate the dreams of man and convey messages this way. Most of us have been dreaming since conception, so I have a difficult time figuring out what dreams were delivered to me by God and what ones are just subconscious rubbish.Thanks for that Pink Panther nightmare God, you know, the one where the Pink Panther chases me, stabs me, and I end up wetting the bed for two weeks in a row. Yes, that really happened when I was six.
• Visions-- To clarify the difference between a vision and a dream-- a vision occurs while one is awake, conscious, or somewhat conscious and possibly in an altered state. To be quite honest, if ever I had any Godly messages or encounters, I would have to say it falls under this category. Generally it involved a lot of drugs and alcohol; not to discredit the whole "religious experience" of those instances, but I find God's role to be highly questionable there.

 To be continued.